Board Bitch
Probably most of you who know me would say that I'm a nice person. Demented and strange, but nice.
But, if you asked any of my fellow Board members to describe me? Hand's down, I'd bet they say, "she is such a bitch."
Background? I serve on the Board of Her Majesty's daycare. We meet once a month. The Board is made up evenly of daycare parents and members of the organization that sponsors the daycare.
And it appears that none of them -- none of them! -- understand the point of a Board meeting. Which is, in my humble opinion, to get through the reports in a timely fashion, discuss relevant issues and make decisions, and get out of there in an hour.
No. Our meetings run an hour and a half, two hours, possibly more, although I wouldn't know because I will get up and leave after we've hit the 2 hour mark. And why so long? Not because we're discussing anything of substance but because people feel the need to return to issues decided upon previously, to suddenly meander down memory lane about how things were done 20 years ago, to ask about completely unrelated issues while a motion is under consideration, and to generally waste time.
And this is where I go from nice to bitch. I have stopped gritting my teeth and jiggling my foot when this happens. Instead, I interrupt, I move the issue, and do my best to bring the discussion back to the issue at hand.
Here's an example from tonight's meeting:
A Board member who was not present at the last meeting sees something in the minutes about a filtration system we have agreed to purchase. She wants to know, what about flouridation, are the kids going to get their flouride? Someone else says, gosh the water in Austin is so good, we hardly need a filtration system. And we are about to be led down the path of discussing the tap water in Austin for 15 minutes.
I cannot stand it. I ask, with not a little rudeness, do we want to bring this issue back to the table, because we approved the purchase last month.
Silence.
She huffs, I just want what's best for the children.
I stare back at her with flat, dead eyes.
We move on. I repeat this throughout the meeting. I badger, I interrupt, I make a point of looking at the clock. About halfway through every meeting, I think, I should just quit the Board, because I'm obviously on a very different page than everyone else.
Ok, ok, I'm venting here. Forgive me, my friends, for venting about this stupid stuff. I am anal, I like sticking to the script, I like order, and, most of all, I like a Board meeting that lasts an hour. Especially on a school night. Especially at dinner time. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for that.
Hmmph.
But, if you asked any of my fellow Board members to describe me? Hand's down, I'd bet they say, "she is such a bitch."
Background? I serve on the Board of Her Majesty's daycare. We meet once a month. The Board is made up evenly of daycare parents and members of the organization that sponsors the daycare.
And it appears that none of them -- none of them! -- understand the point of a Board meeting. Which is, in my humble opinion, to get through the reports in a timely fashion, discuss relevant issues and make decisions, and get out of there in an hour.
No. Our meetings run an hour and a half, two hours, possibly more, although I wouldn't know because I will get up and leave after we've hit the 2 hour mark. And why so long? Not because we're discussing anything of substance but because people feel the need to return to issues decided upon previously, to suddenly meander down memory lane about how things were done 20 years ago, to ask about completely unrelated issues while a motion is under consideration, and to generally waste time.
And this is where I go from nice to bitch. I have stopped gritting my teeth and jiggling my foot when this happens. Instead, I interrupt, I move the issue, and do my best to bring the discussion back to the issue at hand.
Here's an example from tonight's meeting:
A Board member who was not present at the last meeting sees something in the minutes about a filtration system we have agreed to purchase. She wants to know, what about flouridation, are the kids going to get their flouride? Someone else says, gosh the water in Austin is so good, we hardly need a filtration system. And we are about to be led down the path of discussing the tap water in Austin for 15 minutes.
I cannot stand it. I ask, with not a little rudeness, do we want to bring this issue back to the table, because we approved the purchase last month.
Silence.
She huffs, I just want what's best for the children.
I stare back at her with flat, dead eyes.
We move on. I repeat this throughout the meeting. I badger, I interrupt, I make a point of looking at the clock. About halfway through every meeting, I think, I should just quit the Board, because I'm obviously on a very different page than everyone else.
Ok, ok, I'm venting here. Forgive me, my friends, for venting about this stupid stuff. I am anal, I like sticking to the script, I like order, and, most of all, I like a Board meeting that lasts an hour. Especially on a school night. Especially at dinner time. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for that.
Hmmph.
posted by Bookhart at
6:03 PM
6 Comments:
You go girl! I wish you were at some of my meetings. Make the touchy feely types do it on their own time.
By
mistyhop, at 6:54 PM
Demented and strange? I have known you for over 16 years. Are you hiding something?
I'm whiling away time tonight (somewhat foolishly) thinking that I somehow deserve it because tomorrow night will be totally eaten up by a Session meeting at St. Andrew's. Several times tonight I have hovered over the keyboard, fingers ready to spell out my concerns and frustrations about the very board-meeting b---s--- that you are facing at your civic post.
I applaud your forthrightness. You are only standing up to a very insidious form of (take your pick):
-cluelessness
-passive aggression
-power-grabbing
-all of the above
By
clark, at 10:40 PM
Might it also be a factor that you attend board and committee meeting ALL THE TIME and so are totally SICK of them? While these folks are excited, maybe, to just get out of the house and this might be their one and only 'important' board meeting type thing of the week?
I remember, when I first started working for non profits, how cool I thought board meetings were, how important. That STOPPED after about three meetings. Now I understand that borad meetings are generally about stroking egos and everyone making themselves seem important....
This is just my theory, born or too many board committee meetings where nothing gets done but oddly expensive lunches get eaten with gusto.....
By
Karla, at 1:12 AM
Okay and this is exactly why I (a) hate people and (b) am NOT a joiner. And I don't mean "joiner" in a derogatory way; there is nothing wrong with it, I just can't do it. Not without medical assistance.
So if I were on a board with you, I'd totally have your back. But I would not be on a board with you, because I don't do that, because it makes me want to kill people. And that's just not polite.
By
Badger, at 7:16 AM
Um, hello? That sounds like it is during Happy Hour. I would be a havin-no-patience-bitch if it was taking up my drinking time. Besides, it's not personal, it's business.
By
Mother Sanchez, at 8:07 PM
I am completely with you. It'll drive you nuts, all that re-hashing.
We have had some seriously long board meetings at the babies' school, but mostly when dealing w/threats to pull funding over curriculum issues. Yeah, that was all fun.
Now we're back to the gloriously boring (and short) meetings. Woo-hooooooo!
By
amamgets, at 9:49 PM
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